Narcissist Parents Are Harmful for Your Health
The side effects of narcissistic parenting are long-lasting.
I know what you’re saying, “Not everybody is a narcissist. Why do you continue to write narcissist pieces?”
Well, I haven’t written one in a while, and a friend recently told me that my stories about my narcissist mother helped her to realize her mother was too. Knowing what you’re dealing with can be extremely helpful.
Besides, some of my past narcissist articles on Medium seemed to have found a new audience.
Somebody still wants to read them.
Being raised by a narcissist is hard on the mind and the body. The tension you experience as a child of a narcissist doesn’t go away once you become an adult.
Our bodies hang onto trauma, which manifests as ongoing mental and physical health issues.
When I was a teenager, I cracked my knee open while jogging. I was taken to the doctor, and it was sewn up. I limped (dramatically for attention,) and after a few weeks, my knee was fully healed — or so I thought.
One day, decades later, I got out of a car and got my foot stuck in the drain. It was comical as I twisted my foot this way and that to dislodge it. What wasn’t funny was the excruciating amount of pain those foot wiggles created.
The gutter incident reminded my knee of the previous injury, and I’ve had knee pain, arthritis, and even gout ever since.
Narcissistic abuse is like my initial knee injury.
We get hurt repeatedly by the narcissist in our lives, and instead of the pain going away, it gets stored in our bodies only to manifest later.
People who suffer from narcissistic abuse and persons with PTSD share some of the same symptoms, such as nightmares, high-strung personalities, uncontrollable emotions, overwhelming feelings of guilt, difficulty with intimate relationships, and consistently being on alert for the next disaster to strike.
I’m not suggesting if you were raised by a narcissistic parent, all those things will happen to you, but I bet there are at least two or three that you can relate to.
Narcissistic trauma-related health issues
From an early age, you’ve been living in a world of constant stress with very little relief, and much of that stress is internalized.
The body remembers physical and emotional suffering, and you’re subjected to both as a child of a narcissist.
Children with narcissistic parents never get to let down their guard because they never know what is coming next: emotional abuse, neglect, drama, devaluation, and gaslighting.
You may have been able to push down all the negative emotions generated by your narcissistic mother, but your body still remembers and hangs onto it.
Many adult children of narcissists have chronic health problems such as nausea, upset stomach, stomach pain, gastrointestinal distress, muscle aches and pains, insomnia, high blood pressure, rapid heartbeat, and chronic pain, to name a few symptoms.
So, what can you do?
It’s always good to talk to a mental health professional if your stress is so bad or has been internalized.
Get those feelings that you weren’t allowed to talk about when you were a child out now, and deal with them.
It’s also good to work on taking as much stress as you can out of your life.
Meditate.
Exercise.
Practice self-care. No, self-care isn’t an indulgence—it’s important to your overall well-being to take care of yourself, especially if you had a narcissistic parent who put their needs first.
Make some boundaries—especially with your narcissistic parent. They might not honor them but if you’re clear about them with yourself, it will help you to protect yourself.
Taking care of your needs isn’t selfish—it’s life-saving.
This week, I went back and finished The Book of Annie: Humor, Heart, and Chutzpah from an Accidental Influencer by Annie Korzen. I follow her on social media, and we’re in the same storytelling community, though I’ve never been in a show with her.
She’s eighty-something years old, a character actor, and a TikTok star. Her book is a quick read at 142 pages, and I found it inspiring. Her age isn’t stopping her from constantly pursuing her dreams, so it shouldn’t stop any of us.
I felt this week’s New York Times’s Modern Love essay was incredible.
Were We The 'Fat Couple'? by Courtenay Hameister.
And had to immediately order her book, Okay Fine Whatever: The Year I Went from Being Afraid of Everything to Only Being Afraid of Most Things
Unfortunately, I’m reading Stephen King’s new book, Holly, and I have Matthew Perry’s memoir, and “Song of Achilles” waiting to be picked up at the library.
New Season of “Shetland” started on Britbox. This time with Ashley Jenson. It feels like it has a higher body count than previous seasons, or maybe it’s that there are more unfortunate killings.
On Medium, I published:
My Dentist Is Gaslighting Me after some weird encounters in the world of dentistry.
He Didn't Want My Body, He Wanted My Funny
That’s it for now! Have a great weekend!!