Here’s the obituary that’s been making the social media rounds;
“Florence ‘Flo’ Harrison, 65, formerly of Chelsea, died on Feb. 22, 2024, without family by her side due to burnt bridges and a wake of destruction left in her path. Florence did not want an obituary or anyone, including family, to know she died. That’s because even in death, she wanted those she terrorized to be still living in fear, looking over their shoulders. So, this isn’t so much an obituary but more of a public service announcement.”
This obit was written by her daughter, Christina Novak, who says her mother delighted in ruining every birthday and holiday. She especially enjoyed playing hilarious pranks on Christina (when she was a child and still speaking to her mother,) such as holding her over a bridge and pretending to throw her into the water.”
How fast do you think Christina Novak is getting a book deal?
Look at the success of I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy. Although I was fascinated by it, I can’t say I liked it.
While I had the opposite of a loving and nurturing mother, she wasn’t bad enough for me to write a scathing obituary, though many think a memoir of my experience with a non-mother mother would be good.
I understand wanting to write the truth (or how you see it) about someone. However, I think having some empathy and perspective is important—not for them, but for you. When someone is cruel, it’s not a good idea to label them as evil or a monster and be done with it.
Why were they that way? What happened to them that caused them to break inside?
As lacking as my mother was, I wouldn’t have any retirement without her, so I’m extremely grateful for that. I realized that my mother was dealing with undiagnosed mental illness and a lot of fear. She was definitely of the “I’ll reject you before you can reject me” school.
Once I stopped expecting my mother to act like a mother, a lot of my anger disappeared.
I’m sure it was cathartic for Christina to write such a scathing obit; she felt good about it. I couldn’t have written one like it without feeling guilty, but good for her for not holding back.
Update on my favorite pants replacement. I received my ebay purchase on Friday and smelled the mildew through the packaging. They stunk so bad that I didn’t even try them on. They were soft. Two washings later, and they still stunk to high heaven. Like cat urine or spray, you can never get rid of that smell entirely.
My brother used to keep his monster magazines and comic books in our basement, so I know the smell of mold and mildew well and detest it.
The seller was shocked that the pants smelled, saying she checks all her items for unpleasant smells. All I can say is that she needs a better sniffer. She kindly offered a refund, and I’m sending the pants back.
Sorry, US postal service.
My Medium piece was a bit of a departure for me, but I think it’s one of the best things I’ve written. Naturally, it wasn’t boosted.
My Impossible Curry Noodle Dream
I read La Vie According to Rose by Lauren Parvizi, which, due to COVID brain and other factors, took me a while to read but which I did enjoy. It’s funny; some of the extraneous details correspond to my life, such as the lead character living in San Jose (my hometown) and stays in the Marais neighborhood of Paris (where I stayed with my friend when I visited,) and other small bits of information, I’d probably use in a novel.
Is it a sign that I should try my hand at novel writing again?
Hmmm, perhaps.
Probably no Substack next week as I’ll be in Hawaii.
Aloha!